It's been two months since my last post and that hiatus was not intended. A couple of days after my university exams had ended, I got some very bad news from home. A member of my family who is very dear to me, passed away. The mind-boggling thing is that it happened on the same day I was going to fly out to see him; I was still packing luggage with five hours left before my flight, when I got the news. It's very weird, in a sense you expect the people close to you to always be around, like they are, in a way, exempt from death - or, I felt this way, at least. It's the first time I've been faced with my friends' and family's mortality in such a grave way; I guess some would argue on a brighter note that I was lucky it's taken this long.
Still, as I'm writing this, I feel like it's not something I will ever 'get over'. His death has shaken me up not only emotionally but spiritually as well. While I've been baptized as a christian, I haven't been practising in 13 years. It was my grandmother who insisted I were baptized, but my parents brought me up non-religiously, something I've never questioned. Now, I just don't know. I just can't begin to fathom how a person is there in one moment, and then gone the next. I need there to be an afterlife so I know this isn't how it goes, that people just drop dead and that's the end of it. I need this not for my own sake, but for his. It utterly and completely blows my mind how suddenly you have to accept you'll never see him again. I need there to be an afterlife so I know he has found peace, so he's no longer suffering. I need there to be something beyond the grave so he didn't spend the last eight months of his life in absolute agony, for nothing. But then it becomes more complicated, as I ask myself how I could believe in a possible afterlife while not putting my faith in a god. It feels to me as if I'm only turning to God because I need something.
So, you might be able to tell I'm still trying to find out how to reconcile all of these mixed feelings and it seems like long road yet up ahead.
On a brighter note, I've been able to keep my mind occupied trying to catch up on everyone's blogging adventures - I'm ashamed to admit that I couldn't keep up-to-date.
Here are some things I've missed while I was gone:
- Cymre of Bubbles of Mischief has been doing a great job mapping out the details on the upcoming Pet Battle feature for us which in truth is a godsend for me. With the current flood of information, I'll happily fall back on Bubbles of Mischief for most of my Panda info, as Cymre has also been posting about the beta as it changes. (For instance, the last post I read mentioned that the MoP rares have had their blue quality drops removed, aww!)
- The WoW Factor came to EU-Argent Dawn! I'm so sad I missed out on this one, it seemed to me that was the first time the WoW Factor team hosted it on a European server. I would've made my level one to check it out for myself!
- Neri held her monthly Transmog Tournament with a profession-based theme, check out the entries (and winners) here!
- I (re)discovered some new transmog-themed blogs. Muffy's Shed looks promising and I'm totally swooned by (if that's even proper English) Banesidhe's Transmogative Works! Be sure to check them out.
- Last but not definitely not least, JD Kenada of Amateur Azerothian seems to be at it again, this time with the phenomenally-sounding Mogolympics! I cannot believe I missed this one! Or as Capitaine Haddock would say, ten thousand thundering typhoons and blue blistering barnacles, I cannot believe I missed this one! Keep on the look out for updates, as the deadline has closed, so I'm expecting JD to start lifting the veil on the entrants' enthralling entries soon!
Lastly, I'm in a bit of a pickle concerning this blog. I'm not too fond of the name nor the address (mostly the address, though) since those seem suggest it's quite heavily rogue themed while it's not - perhaps yet another reason to change it, as people might be expecting to see more rogue point of view posts. As it stands I have no idea which character I'll be heading into Mists with, either.
However, my biggest pickle is whether or not to stay with blogger or port it to wordpress - I find myself really missing that pingback feature I see on so many other blogs! I read something about trackbacks on blogger, but I'm not yet sure how those work, if they work at all - when I checked my settings I had those enabled, but I've yet to see anything to prove that! I think I'll just make a small list, help me think things over.
• pingback (I think it's neat you can notify others you've linked to their pages and seeing when others have linked to you gives you an idea of your reader base)
• awesome comment-notification system (à la "X replied to your comment on post Y", much easier to keep track of instead by memory)
• lots and lots of themes (way more than blogger)
• intricate interface (read: too complicated for me, takes me ages before I can find the setting I'm looking for)
• will lose all existing comments I have on blogger (and what about the few broken links that would provide?)
• themes cannot be edited
For the few readers that might stumble across this, it was quite the post. For a while I contemplated about just disappearing in thin air, but I like to blog too much for that. It's also the first time I've really been able to "talk", albeit a written monologue, about what happened. It certainly helped me to voice all of those concerns and thoughts I had. Death certainly is a strange thing. One thing I've learned, make sure your loved ones are made aware of just what they mean to you lest you're left feeling guilty about it.
In any case, if you made it through and you have some thoughts on the blogger vs wordpress-platform/change-blog-name thing, I'd love to hear them. Peace!